Wow, we've hit a week where I am not in some existential crisis about some deep topic that requires journaling. Don't get me wrong, I'm always in various states of over analyzing something or other, but I genuinely don't have anything that is caged in my soul and fighting to get out. Yay, for you?
I did start reading Ibram X. Kendi's "How to be an Anti-Racist" last week for a family book club and I highly recommend it to everyone. I was fortunate to get to hear him speak as part of the Anti-Racism Teach-In last week and I think this book is a great starting point for anyone that has wanted to learn more.
Peanut Butter Random Time!
1. I think I've finally reached the eating-your-feelings stage of quarantine. Or perhaps I'm just starting to feel some normalcy so my regular eating habits are coming back. I am the opposite of most people and tend to eat less and lose weight during stressful times. If you see me at my thinnest, it usually means I'm not doing well. A slightly round version of me seems to be the happiest version of me, so I'm going to take this as a sign of improvement. Ryan and I are happily eating either a big bowl of ice cream every night or indulging in a Drumstick.
2. I have an occasional recurring nightmare where I am possessed by the devil. I started having it as a kid (most likely after my first viewing of the Exorcist) and it comes up at various points of my life. I always wake up super terrified and unsure whether I'm still possessed, requiring me to pray for an hour to convince myself that if I were actually possessed, the devil wouldn't tolerate me praying. (Because that's how it works, right?) Anyway, last night I had the most deranged version of this nightmare where I was actually possessed by TONYA HARDING.
Yes, that Tonya Harding. And no, I haven't heard or read anything about her recently and I haven't even seen the most recent Margot Robbie movie about her. In the dream, I remember being confused about the whole thing because I'm pretty sure she is still alive (she def is, I just looked it up and had no idea she was on DWTS). I told my therapist about it today and shared that perhaps I have a secret desire to take out someone's kneecap, but she said that perhaps I'm feeling victimized. WHOA! BACK-OFF, lady!
3. When I lived abroad in Lyon, France for a semester in college, my host family lived outside the city in the countryside. Since it was a long commute, it was hard for me to be social with friends during the weeknights. Most nights, I would eat dinner with my host mother and then hang in my room the rest of the night. This was pretty lonely, so I would end up watching the 3 DVDs that I had with me over and over again: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Pirates of the Caribbean. I haven't watched any of these movies in a bit, but the other night, Ryan decided to put on a movie. I had my glasses off already, so I asked him what it was and he told me to guess. Two seconds into the opening, with no music and no glasses on, I knew it was Lord of the Rings. Those movies are so ingrained in my memory that I can listen to them with my eyes closed and still know EXACTLY what is happening on the screen. Upon this millionth viewing, I would like to share that Ryan has lost all tolerance for Pippin and it has been incredibly amusing to watch his exasperation.








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